You’re haunted by your past
Haunted by your future: the one that will be and the one you have lost
Haunted by regrets and mistakes
By memories of people you let go and those who you actively hurt,
How many lives have you,
in your most subtle way, ruined
and just how much the thought of them
don’t affect you the least.
You drown your cocktails
with pills that make you numb
Romanticize the loneliness like music to your muse
Married to the dream you lost yourself into
Only to wake up unsmiling, dazed; you’re confused.
You keep reminding yourself
that everybody hurts the way you hurt
But no matter how universal and same the feelings are
don’t change the fact the struggle continues
Inside you, you’re scarred
Inside you, enraged
Inside you, you’re trapped
Looking out heavens’ gates.
The booze and the ice, the ecstatic trips
That don’t take away the scars
but accentuate them more
of your frailty, of your mortality
as you trudge t’wards the door.
Bombarded, daily, by the propaganda
That living, existing, being here is beauty
That birth is wonder
And death is torture
But in the eyes of a cynic
And in the mouth of a nihilist
value is something that you fool yourself with.
The value of sunlight, you value the dawn
None of us exempt from appraisals of the Lords
“Lord” is concept, “god” is us
Not omniscient; just passing by
by the Night, by the Night.
And you sing with your dreary voice
that hope isn’t something you should procure
that hope is a distraction from reality (,) you try to escape
But in the back of your head you wish when you die
That your soul be recycled in the body of a child
That way you’ll see the light again
You’ll discover life anew
and have the chance to do more things
that of which in this life you never do
You’ll glide your hands in the water,
not to test the cold
but to enjoy the sensation as long as you can hold
And to live for eternity
via a recycling of souls
That’s why we wish for reincarnatio, silently, in our homes.