Holding Hands With Someone You Don’t Love

Posted on: Thursday, June 29th, 2017

How could you tell me I’m beautiful and not mean it?
I guess lying is easy, pretending convenient
when you don’t really care for its

What I want from you is something you cannot give
and what you ask from me is patience which I do not have

Your love, a poorly done falsetto
and my heart deafened by your

You try to hold me as I retreat
Lying beside me but my body wants you to leave
I distance my back from your chest and ignore
how comforting your arms are around not just my naked skin but my naked being
Could you not make me the villain even when I am?
Could you not throw it in my face?
In my mind, I try to compose that carefully worded sentence
which you already have an excuse to anyway
You’ve made up your mind anyway
Before I even spoke
Before I even try to clumsily explain myself
and fail
You try to crush out from my insides what I don’t mean
and succeed
but who’s to gain?
and who’s to win?
There are no winners here

We don’t owe each other nothing, love
You were here because for a time you knew you wanted to stay
And you’ll go when there’s no choice left but to run
To love and stay aren’t games of debt collection
But at least
look back at me wistfully
as you walk
That’d be kind.

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