bianco e nero

Posted on: Saturday, October 14th, 2017

He really is as rotten as he said he is. Silly child, you should have listened.
You should have paid attention when he said he’s unavailable.
You really should have seen the way he played you with ease
like he played thousands before you
like aging toys.
He’ll never change. He is not good enough for you the way you
are not good enough for him.

He called you baby and you fell for it. Silly child, now you’re left screaming
Where are you? Who are you fucking right now? Whose lips are you kissing,
and if those lips remind you of me,
I hope I’m better than them. I hope. I hope. I really hope.
Like I believed I could make you stay.

This is what we do.
We are experts on sabotage.
This is what we do.
We’ve done this before.

I feel
more conquest than lover
with your flag
planted in
my territorials, being, mentioning of my name, ears, hands that feel your unholding,
and dizzied contemporary whatifs.
You buccaneer.
You’ve explored and made a map out of my skin and now
you’re off to seas uncharted
looking for a taste of what you have not dwindled your fingers on yet. I should have been enough. I should have done more. Why am I not enough for you? Why am I the only one hurting? I regret
letting you name the skies after me.
And I hate myself for believing you’d stay.

You should have sunk your fangs into me.
You should have never let me leave.
Why did you not ask me to stay?

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