Disassemblia

Disassemblia

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I disassembled my body and created a confessor a parent in my head Told her things I weren't ready to share with the world yet Held her hand, She took mine as ether poured light into me She was the practice dummy I bore my soul to A subreddit dedicated to the unburrowing of my sins Her ears were always pressed to my shriveled mouth as teeth clinked to wail out despair Stood there in silence and allowed her to love me as I yearned to be loved and failed Why do you look like my mother? Why do you sound like her feel like her Resemble her in every way but tangible Why were you t ...Read more

Nectarine of the gods

Nectarine of the gods

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I am not alright with dying. I am not alright with living, either. I am stuck in the pathos in between, A purgatory of my own making. One thread, one sledgehammer of my own sins. Some times I hate everyone. Some times I hate myself. I’m sick. I’m dizzy. Growing peaches in the dark. Getting stoic, Going greedy. Nectarine before the fall, Remedric after thaw. The world rushes straight, heteronormative too much, Disputes over land, Made-up histo[r]ic value, Burying children in the sand. Surely the gods didn’t put us here to argue but, boy, do you enjoy it. Forward. Forward. ...Read more

Enough

Enough

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You do not compare to him All your work and you still do not compare to him You aren't even a pale imitation Just a passing soul that will never be good enough Tall enough Succeeding enough Resilient enough Happy enough Powerful enough enough Enough! You set his picture as your screensaver A telltale of a man you will never become That green sun pierces through your blinds Consume you with gusto like burns on your face You will never be that sight for sore eyes That calms the city and lull giants to sleep They want not your flesh and will toss you aside for fresher peach, a ...Read more

The Green Sun

The Green Sun

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Take Me Where You Lay

Take Me Where You Lay

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Buff top. Cisgender. Take me to where you lay. I would never introduce you to my sanctuarium my bed is basillica My mind registering the fake name you gave me as you pry into the movements in my eyes You'll never catch me lie I'm way too trained "You should be thankful I decided to look your way, "waste my time your way, "grateful I gave you this time of day "blah blah. I walk on water. Send me photos from your youth back when the vibrance hasn't been purged out of your skin. Yet. Let me see how you see yourself because that's how I'll peel into your skin as I frame your tight b ...Read more

I Like His Way Of Things

I Like His Way Of Things

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I like the way he breathes near my mouth and teases me with half-kisses I like the way he giggles at my unsteady and fervor I like the way our tongues wrestle with each other I like his way of things He calls me by the pet name he made up In a way, nobody ever fills my stomach with this much battalion, butterflies I find myself waiting for him where we first met first laid eyes on our future got each other's numbers, names, addresses, hearts I like the way he pulls me close when he's sleeping on my bed because goddamnit, it's the best feeling I've ever felt in my entire existe ...Read more

Holding Hands With Someone You Don't Love

Holding Hands With Someone You Don’t Love

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How could you tell me I'm beautiful and not mean it? I guess lying is easy, pretending convenient when you don't really care for its target What I want from you is something you cannot give and what you ask from me is patience which I do not have Your love, a poorly done falsetto and my heart deafened by your silence. You try to hold me as I retreat Lying beside me but my body wants you to leave I distance my back from your chest and ignore how comforting your arms are around not just my naked skin but my naked being Could you not make me the villain even when I am? Could you not ...Read more

Hello, Stranger

Hello, Stranger

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Hello, New Mark Hello, New Michael Hello, New Mitchell What's your name this time? What do you like? Where do you live? What do you think of my clothes? Of my name? Would you like me to change again? Should I be someone else? Someone more likeable? Someone more relatable? It's nice meeting you Small town, ain't? No. It is not. But I still want to paint it that way Think of it that way I feel like this is fate I hope you feel that, too I have to re-learn you The whole value of you Your quirks The things you want and those you hate Until you choose to leave I know you'd w ...Read more

Expert Cruiser

Expert Cruiser

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Tonight, I'm going to bed with someone without a face That's okay; I bet he understands why Start our game meters of a crowd in between to bed, to his Gaia drying on my pecs him licking off the pool he made from my right nipple Call each other 'baby' because we couldn't be bothered with names put my weight on his body, kiss his name, gently, messily, grab his ass cheek as I put it inside I've always felt that there was something divine the thought of two bodies becoming one without history; greed and malice all but left behind he purifies me from years I've spent in awful solitary ...Read more

Amateur Pornographic

Amateur Pornographic

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The Good Eve

The Good Eve

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Every musician wants to be part of your household, dear Much like every genuine ounce of me longs for your validation Would you sing these anthems with me? Play me on your radio? Let me into your flightful heart? Your lover in elusive moments Your runaway, your reprise, your trophy, rump, reward Your Reincarnatios Your time share ; beach house husband baby Returning applicant to be buried beside you buried inside you as we smile Play with me like doll house from your childhood attic Your memoirs, your makings, your monarchs, your machinations Pull all my strings and tug me close t ...Read more

Boleyne Bard

Boleyne Bard

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Reincarnatio

Reincarnatio

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You’re haunted by your past Haunted by your future: the one that will be and the one you have lost Haunted by regrets and mistakes By memories of people you let go and those who you actively hurt, How many lives have you, in your most subtle way, ruined and just how much the thought of them don’t affect you the least. You drown your cocktails with pills that make you numb Romanticize the loneliness like music to your muse Married to the dream you lost yourself into Only to wake up unsmiling, dazed; you’re confused. You keep reminding yourself that everybody hurts the way yo ...Read more

Solid Hearts

Solid Hearts

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Stop pouring your clattered hearts to me I like them solid We can both be drowning or we can take the door What do you think this will give you? Preserving shadows in a jar All your money in high hopes leaving you penniless This shit you're streaming on Hulu is a bore We can't both be darkness. One has to be light. Will it be you? Will you glimmer for me? Fake your own purple rays and shun stormy clouds All our savings in dry enviros leaving me two cents for a cigarette You had this dream last night of thinmen and humanoid tax collectors And then, there was me ringing at your door ...Read more

Blue Milk

Blue Milk

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by me, Ethan Lesley 🐳Release date : November 2017(Part 2 out 8) Blue Milk is my second poetry collection entry for The Infinite Range. The free verses included deal with hospitalization trauma, PTSD, physical and mental health, and the painfully slow process of recovery; as well as promises of future health (both physical and mental), meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging. table.table_milkcontent { width: 100%; color: #FFF !important; margin: 25px 0; font-weight: 200; } table.table_milkcontent tr td { padding: 10px 0px 9px 30px; color: #FFF !important; height: 18px; ...Read more

 
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