27

27

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"Everything is great." That's what my mama said with her eyes, Faintly and glowing, and going sadly blind. Descend. "Everything is great and will be great, Delicate and radiant, and full of life as you are, mine Child." Mama, look at what I'm becoming, not the one imagined. I am real. I am real! I am here, am I not? …Where people saw kindness in her, they saw the same much of nothing in me. I saw nothing back at the world, too– mind you– nothing but black, and brown, And gray, and teal, and cyan, Ember over ember. Clout after clout. Brilliant child, intellectual child, promising ...Read more

Sex Sells (But I Still Have Nothing)

Sex Sells (But I Still Have Nothing)

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You said "Sex sells like sea shells on shore," and whoa, that is just some bad writing! Then I noticed, “Oh dearest, you’re horny, and I think I’m gonna be a thousandaire because you’re buying deep into my shit.” Cigarettes. Cigarettes and nostalgia– I wonder if there’s going to be more to this than shirtless Insta-perfections and thighs sparkling like the Pacific, you want that Amateur Pornographic and shut me when I talk, talk, talk humanitar– HUSH! Talk, talk, talk human– HUSH! You only listen to your crudest Tendencies. Can we really be that low? Are we anti ...Read more

Vör Derailed

Vör Derailed

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I wake up remembering how I greeted my own years ago. "Hello. "It's going to be a good day." The way I jumped from the bed to bed to play with the rest of my prayers, "Hi's" exchanged with jollier inequivalence, pissing on my own, for I was once The adventurous friend. Turns, now, I’m just motions upon motions of You-shouldn’t-have-made-its and why-are-you-still-heres. I walked against the self-defeating vortex, inclinations, hallucinogens, morphine and morphine, To reap more work hours so to burn, burn more pesos, burn, burn more dollars, And to give winks for the fool-proof ...Read more

Gematria

Gematria

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I have always held myself in contrast to such impossible standards none of this is fair to me but knowing oneself full well doesn't equate well to Panacea we all have our crosses to carry; horses, monsters, tapirs to bury, I am well-aware but I'm just watching, watching, watching but if I cannot be the me held up to my impossible standards then I'd never be the me who is happy I'm a slave to my ideas and my ideologies are working against, protesting against the bitter lake the truthful water the kindness rain as misfits, we traversed through jungles and ordinary cities and tu ...Read more

The Chewing Machine

The Chewing Machine

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You're not welcome. It's not for the youse. It's not for views. Most people here are monsters of biblical proportions And what happens to them is what happens to monsters, eventually They fall down by death or by beating, eventually And that's a good thing for young monsters to read in As they are getting tuckered at night In their young monster beds by their aged monster caretakers, Whispering, Whimpering, "He sounds good" Sit by, sit still, sit crazy, Everything happens for no reason, Just as the tulip, too, burns by the lighter, And so parables, wry, write themselves In gallan ...Read more

Talk In Tongues

Talk In Tongues

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...Read more

Ride Or Die, Baby

Ride Or Die, Baby

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In And Over Losing Ourselves

In And Over Losing Ourselves

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My soul is the bottle dripping, succumber liquid gaining temper'ture Can't find no obvious holes nowhere; no breaks, no sights in fissure, And in its featurelessness and failure, its efficiency raised tenfold before But I have no use now for broken things rotting and ruining my kitchen table Should it join the bag, all black and dirty? Tell if you, too, should you find tape Maybe it's not too late yet, for my sanity's sake, I hope it's not too late My turf, my rules, my killing I'm a describable indistinguishable dark soul, only desperate for the more desperate To dominate and forclose ...Read more

play catch up

play catch up

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For someone who says he never puts importance to the past, I sure as hell am spending all my little coins clinging to it. Rehashes of trauma, merry-go-rounds and go-get-happies, go-get-betters, And drowning unsuspecting rooms under tub light of my disgraced charm. That's because I'm a manic pixie dream gay, –Y'know, like, in the movies, Maybe we hit up, and we have A blast of a time and for the times, and you think That I perhaps realigned or redefined your insights and in-flights, and inside The low-ceilinged hipster club you hang at, your friends start talking about me Really coo ...Read more

The Plight of The Gardener

The Plight of The Gardener

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"I am tending to my heart," Lon said. "Let me tend to it," he groaned and groaned. "They come as the dance fatigued. "Onto merry, onto sunshine, onto the that he so little have owned. "I walked past a breakthrough in reverse– Ka-re-eu! Turns out committedly playing vict' Is plentiful in Rewards." Lon turned to the flower and the mute bird with skin like a cow. "I have kept you within the spit of the sun, have I not?" "You have." "I have let the rain not ravage at your legs, have I not?" "You have." "Am I your home?" "You are part of it." "A-ha! Don't you dare take that away from ...Read more

Last Flare (An Old Constellation's Love Letter)

Last Flare (An Old Constellation’s Love Letter)

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i need a man who would fight for me to whichever length the lengths provide and lengths require life progresses and spins and flies, but at what cost you told me through phone calls and through subtext with your brow broken, endowed with yer panic, that we may not be able to provide what the other needs in the long run but fuck all the needs and fuck all the long runs tell me now, tell me now, you without hesitation without the sorriest pieces of gums in soles what do i need when i've exhausted it all get your heart broken get it broken a lot lock it up and out and away even from ...Read more

You won't find solace here

You won’t find solace here

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you spent an entire four months in an apartment ten stories high, living in the eight floor, surviving with cheap noodle sticks and beer and cigarettes and knock-off biscuits the elevator was broken, so most of the time you had to climb up and bring up your own furniture till you started giving up on comforts like a good sofa and new flatscreens, and your neighbors, they were no friends of yours, you didn't have yours they had lives built before you became a sorry tenant, a busy tenant just another, just another so many had lived and left there before they no longer need t ...Read more

Quod erat faciendum

Quod erat faciendum

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i took what he humbly offered and flushed them down the toilet. all of them, down and down. i didn’t care for him at all, or maybe too much. i bet he was nothing to me and he was using me, too. that's fine. but i should have gone with the good Sweaty Hours 'stead of not budging, bulging from these perforated sweatless caskets, peeking, peaking. i wonder if the clock checks on me, too, and all that we despise about ourselves. doth it keep notes of early ruin? will it count down or calm back to days i apologized to his knuckles and the knuckles of his friends? his mistake was ...Read more

Allegorica

Allegorica

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1. I think I forgot. I am a writer weak without a good editor, But let me tour you through out My mansion of storms. Don't get yourselves lost, The shelves are pretty much All sirens here. They will eat you up here, gnaw you up, Spit you up, and, here Never trust what you remember. 'Member all that are lost are all that are deserving of it. Child, are there merits to your meritocracy? Isn't that the way we dreamt about, fixing the world? How foolish were the sardines judged by the anglers and angels for their fins? I have learned to make empty threats from my parents. They are ...Read more

Gimlet

Gimlet

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"could you turn down the lights? i'm trying not to be seen here" no answer, there is just me and the barkeep and he's busy, polishing some old bottle but new to the new pub i guess he looked kind of good, i may have had fifty or five, but he looked good and all tall, and penguin-like, busy as a man should be busy built as a man should be built the tables behind me already have names on them already who would reserve them this early? i never understood how people point at their days, say which time is for which i have never done that with mine O', order? but i am so ha ...Read more

 
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