Ethan Lesley, Ethan Anarchy

When Your Love It Turns To Guilt

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Spencer lives in constant fear He lives in constant premature rejection not by others, but by himself He decides for everything decides for everyone as he had failed to decide before "You do not want a part of me," he says "My red is dirty," he believes "My red corrupt." Spencer lives in dissonace Completely aware of how it rushes in his veins; he continues to live in vain Hoping to find someone as damaged, as baggaged as he is and then he damages himself Because all the philosophies and all the support fail to deliver him from himself and in the red-lit corners of the world ...Read more

In Your Mind Exists The Infinite, Ethan Anarchy, Ethan Lesley

In your mind exists the infinite

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In your mind exists the infinite That which you can only pour into art into writing into paper that can only be understood by same minds It cries out of you You turn it alive The wyverns overhead that you witness in constant battle, as you're cartographing tunnels you escape to Or at least you try You write to empower but you destroy You convince yourself you're an ally when you're not An outsider in a city more obsessed with other paths Other jobs, more valuable than what your mind-store produce You starve, physically and mentally as you consider yourself a faux artist ...Read more

Reincarnatio, Ethan Anarchy, Ethan Lesley, Life In The Infinite


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You're haunted by your past Haunted by your future: the one that will be and the one you have lost Haunted by regrets and mistakes By memories of people you let go and those who you actively hurt, How many lives have you, in your most subtle way, ruined and just how much the thought of them don't affect you the least. You drown your cocktails with pills that make you numb Romanticize the loneliness like music to your muse Married to the dream you lost yourself into Only to wake up unsmiling, dazed; you're confused. You keep reminding yourself that everybody hurts the way you hurt ...Read more

The Freelancer's Midnight Prayer

The Freelancer’s Midnight Prayer

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Previously The Freelancer’s Mantra What one chants when times are frustrating and income is slow and life is challenging When success is in reach and payday is near but maybe your optimism's fooling you, 'cause this already happened before. Basic everyday stuff for the Barely Making It. Part 1: Centering (Yourself With A Badass Mix Before Opening Your Work Folder on XP because you refuse to update) Om bhur bhuvaht sivan Tat savitur Australia Bhargo devasya-burbia Dhiyo youth na prachodaya Part 2: GREAT-full-grateful, but perhaps some other road... Oh Lorde, Ein Sof, Lana d ...Read more

Ethan Anarchy, Ethan Lesley, Existhantial logo

When in doubt, write a pretentious poem.

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Existhantial log 170124 Are we too old to be capable Of mental strains we once knew as youths Of giving up, snuffing the lights with sad songs Feel as pointless as our lives are in its most Are we focused too much on what's in front of us Slaves of what we desperately believe should be ahead Tired of these aching, self-strained shoulders And the cruel future I see as a broken reflection of health Have you ever felt like you've been trying To be too many things all at once That being and becoming anything less than who you want to be Is a complete betrayal to who you are? Am ...Read more

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