When Your Love It Turns To Guilt

When Your Love It Turns To Guilt

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Spencer lives in constant fear He lives in constant premature rejection not by others, but by himself He decides for everything decides for everyone as he had failed to decide before "You do not want a part of me," he says "My red is dirty," he believes "My red corrupt." Spencer lives in dissonace Completely aware of how it rushes in his veins; he continues to live in vain Hoping to find someone as damaged, as baggaged as he is and then he damages himself Because all the philosophies and all the support fail to deliver him from himself and in the red-lit corners of the world ...Read more

In your mind exists the infinite

In your mind exists the infinite

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In your mind exists the infinite That which you can only pour into art into writing into paper that can only be understood by same minds It cries out of you You turn it alive The wyverns overhead that you witness in constant battle, as you're cartographing tunnels you escape to Or at least you try You write to empower but you destroy You convince yourself you're an ally when you're not An outsider in a city more obsessed with other paths Other jobs, more valuable than what your mind-store produce You starve, physically and mentally as you consider yourself a faux artist ...Read more

Reincarnatio

Reincarnatio

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You're haunted by your past Haunted by your future: the one that will be and the one you have lost Haunted by regrets and mistakes By memories of people you let go and those who you actively hurt, How many lives have you, in your most subtle way, ruined and just how much the thought of them don't affect you the least. You drown your cocktails with pills that make you numb Romanticize the loneliness like music to your muse Married to the dream you lost yourself into Only to wake up unsmiling, dazed; you're confused. You keep reminding yourself that everybody hurts the way you hurt ...Read more

Just wanted to share these donuts for no apparent reason

Just wanted to share these donuts for no apparent reason

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Just thought maybe I'd brighten your day with photos of donuts. Credits to my kid sister who took the photos. LOL. I found these images somewhere on my computer and I just loved them. THEY'RE DONUTS! What's not to love? ...Read more

v Depression : My Pet Peeves

v Depression : My Pet Peeves

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In light of all the #SuicideAwareness posts I've seen on my feed from my contacts, I wrote this short one about my experiences with depression, the difficulties of coping with it and with sharing how I feel to others, half-baked suicide attempts, and a brief about a friend who killed herself. Part 2 of my previous post: Suicide Awareness Post I, too, have had my jousts against clinical depression. They say depression is never normal part of life. But I have to admit, most days it feels like my norm. Like depression is an old friend that's always lurking in the corner, waiting to greet ...Read more

The Freelancer's Midnight Prayer

The Freelancer’s Midnight Prayer

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Previously The Freelancer’s Mantra What one chants when times are frustrating and income is slow and life is challenging When success is in reach and payday is near but maybe your optimism's fooling you, 'cause this already happened before. Basic everyday stuff for the Barely Making It. Part 1: Centering (Yourself With A Badass Mix Before Opening Your Work Folder on XP because you refuse to update) Om bhur bhuvaht sivan Tat savitur Australia Bhargo devasya-burbia Dhiyo youth na prachodaya Part 2: GREAT-full-grateful, but perhaps some other road... Oh Lorde, Ein Sof, Lana d ...Read more

When in doubt, write a pretentious poem.

When in doubt, write a pretentious poem.

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Existhantial log 170124 Are we too old to be capable Of mental strains we once knew as youths Of giving up, snuffing the lights with sad songs Feel as pointless as our lives are in its most Are we focused too much on what's in front of us Slaves of what we desperately believe should be ahead Tired of these aching, self-strained shoulders And the cruel future I see as a broken reflection of health Have you ever felt like you've been trying To be too many things all at once That being and becoming anything less than who you want to be Is a betrayal to who you are? Am I so pett ...Read more

Far Away (Nickelback) - The One Song To Rule Them All

Far Away (Nickelback) – The One Song To Rule Them All

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Far Away: the one song to rule them all Now, before you all judge me, there's a little back story to this. So, 2015 just hit two weeks ago, and I had promised myself this: that this month will be dedicated to reliving some of the greatest TV shows I've ever had the pleasure of seeing. Namely, these would be Battlestar Galactica, Dawson's Creek, Buffy, and Veronica Mars. So far, I'm only re-watching BSG and am now reliving how much I loved Stardama. (I realized that BSG existed before all this shipping names popped up. This was the pre-Tumblr era.) I'll just refer to LeexKara as Stard ...Read more

CLEAN UP : THIS BLOG WILL BE BACK SHORTLY

CLEAN UP : THIS BLOG WILL BE BACK SHORTLY

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Excuse me for my absence. I am preparing something better for this blog. Thank you. Sincerely, Ethan ...Read more

Happy New Year from Manila

Happy New Year from Manila

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Happy new year! Or as we say here in the PH, "manigong bagong taon!" (Now, there aren;t no glaciers or even snow in our country... I don't know why I drew this. It just felt right at the moment.) I wrote a twenty-paged document to greet everyone, but I've been told by my lawyer that it was "too wordy" and that the video I wanted to embed was quote unquote "unnecessary and mildly racist coming from half-an-Islander... which you are not." Drama or no drama, 2014 has been one incredible ride; filled with opportunities to get to know and connect with people, work on exciting projec ...Read more

 
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